Children of Wo(men)

11.03.11 By Alexis Harewood

In anticipation of September, I had imagined much of the first day of school to be exactly like the cliche: school buses, uniforms, school supplies, rush of excitement, routine learning, adorable 6th graders, lunches on Styrofoam trays, teachable moments, being called Ms. Harewood, nervousness and laughter (for both parties… teachers and students).

What I had not anticipated: the utter lack of male role models.

As my shy 6th graders sheepishly entered the hallway of the Red Family at the Timilty Middle School, I observed many parents and guardians clinging onto the memories of their students’ first day of kindergarten. The mothers, grandmothers, aunts, female cousins and sisters hugged and kissed their little boys and girls while leaving them for yet another first day of school. I greeted each student as they entered room 202 and spoke briefly with their family members. But then it dawned on me: where were the fathers, grandfathers, uncles, male cousins and brothers?

Shortly afterward, I brushed off the thought while helping students fill out the In Case of Emergency (ICE) cards. However, the thought re-emerged when five students in my homeroom asked for advice about what to put in the “Fathers” section of the ICE card. I advised them to either put information for another person or to simply leave it blank.  But was leaving it blank really so simple? For some, perhaps—but for others, maybe not.

Throughout my other three classes, I distributed ICE cards and other students asked the same question. Some whispered, “Ms. Harewood, what do I put here?” while their classmates just left the section blank. At the end of the day, I alphabetized all of the ICE cards collected from my four English Language Arts classes. Of 84 students, 50 had left this section blank or entered another family member’s contact information.

I sat horrified. WHERE HAD THE MEN GONE?

Walking home that first day of school, my mind went on a wild goose chase wondering what had happened to the absent men no longer in my students’ lives. How had schooling been for them? How could I keep my male students in school? How could I inspire them to stay connected to their communities, enhancing their communities and themselves in the process?

Since this discovery, I have been on the lookout for men in the school community and have seen several, but the female presence still dominates the Guest Sign In Log.

During the past two months I’ve continued to reflect on this issue, and it has raised many questions about my teaching. With this new perspective on how the absence of males impacts my students, I’m more inspired to think about how I can better serve all students—including the children of wo(men).