Willing to Able

6.20.11 By Stephen Yang

Charlestown High School wrapped up its last day of administering finals today.  Students meandered in and out of rooms to socialize and say goodbye.  Teachers began organizing their papers and visuals in preparation for next year.  News of Cohort 8 residents receiving and accepting positions throughout the district flooded my electronic inboxes through a variety of notifications from social networking websites.  Life is good for now, but my real work and responsibilities are just around the corner.

Before applying to the Boston Teacher Residency (BTR) I remember reading an interview featuring Jesse Solomon, BTR Director, in which he stated (and I’m paraphrasing here), “We try to overwhelm you during your residency year.”  Solomon went on to elaborate and make the point that no matter how tiring and challenging one’s residency might get, one must remember that one’s first year of teaching will be far more exhausting.  Teachers I’ve spoken with, including some I truly respect and admire, confirm it: my first year as a a teacher will be all about survival. 

This year has humbled me as a student, social activist, and educator.  There were times when the temptation to give up was tangible.  But the encouraging and respectful voices of veteran teachers and instructors reminded me that no matter how confused, fractured, and/or emotionally fatigued I was feeling, I was indeed learning about myself, my students, public school, and the content I was teaching.  The lessons I’ve garnered from simultaneously balancing rigorous graduate school coursework and planning, managing, and teaching two 11th grade classes can’t be taught in a lecture hall, or in one school year term.  They come with the residency teacher preparation model, and I certainly received what I signed up for.

I’m excited to take several mental health days in the next few weeks, but I’m even more excited for the time I can spend reflecting on how I can be a better teacher for my future students than I was for the students I was responsible for this year.  I’ll do the latter justice by ensuring that I never repeat the same mistakes I’ve made this year.  Was my residency year worth my time, tears, frustrations, effort, and commitment? Will I survive my first year of teaching? Let’s just say this year I’ve gone from willing to able.